Posts Tagged ‘April Fools’

President Trump signs historic order requiring dogs to file taxes in 2019

Filed by Lirpa Sloof, DVM, BS

WASHINGTON, April 1, 2019 (Newshound Press)

In one of the most controversial acts of his Presidency so far, President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order requiring dog owners to file taxes on behalf of their furry family members.

“Dogs have long held a place of enormous respect in our amazing country,” said Trump, adding, “We rely on dogs in many, many important situations including search-and-rescue, bomb detection, and crime prevention with the local police. Our dogs go to war alongside our great military men and women. Even the dogs who remain at home serve in some capacity, whether it is fetching the newspaper or providing home security while their people are at work.”

Noting that the “cumulative man-hours” accrued by working dogs amounts to somewhere in the millions per year, Trump claimed, “We are missing out on literally billions of dollars in taxes that these dogs should be paying into the system. That’s enough money to build a wall around every dog park in America.”

With a flourish of his pen, President Trump signed an Executive Order that will affect all dog owners (excluding shelters and rescue organizations), who will be expected to file a 1040-DOG tax return based on the dogs’ 2018 income.

When reached for comment, Norfolk veterinarian Dr. Donald Miele said that he was “just happy that the order is not retroactive to the 1960s, considering how many dogs I’ve owned.”

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Schedule Update

Dr. Miele will be out of the office on Wednesday, April 1st (no fooling!). 

He will return for regular office hours on Thursday, April 2nd.

Our office will be closed Friday afternoon, April 3rd in observance of Good Friday.

We will return for regular office hours on Saturday, April 4th.

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